https://www.abc.net.au - By Johanna Mcdiarmid@abcnews@abcrural
Following that piece, a number of women sent in their stories of what it was like to struggle financially and how they worked to get out of those situations.
This is what some of you told us.
'He wouldn't allow me to have any dual bank accounts'
Marissa* was pregnant with her first child when her husband wanted to move overseas. That's when everything changed.
Warning signs of economic abuse:
"The minute the aircraft door closed on that first flight out of here, he just turned into a monster," she said.
For the next few decades, he controlled their money.
"He wouldn't allow me to have any dual bank accounts," she said.
"He gave me a Visa card and an American Express card. Everything was accountable then, he could check every single item that I bought."
Marissa was told to put a lot of the larger expenses on her credit cards, too. Things like hotel stays, bills and appliances.
"He would make me put major items like the refrigerator, my daughter's orthodontic treatment — that was $17,000 — major items on that card," she said.
"So then when we went through the divorce he was able to say [I] was spending $10,000 a month or whatever on credit cards.
"It was such a set-up, looking back now."
She had debt collectors contacting her day and night after they split, as no-one was paying those bills.
After the split, Marissa ended up on the street
Marissa ended up separating from her husband after 23 years.
They had two children together and during the split she lived with them in the family home.
She was receiving child support, which was enough to cover the mortgage and live, but she wasn't working and had no other access to money.
One day she says her husband took hundreds of thousands of dollars in equity out of the house, effectively bumping up the mortgage repayments so she couldn't afford them.
Not long afterwards, they were thrown out onto the street.
All her cards were cancelled, so she had no means of paying for a motel.
"He'd thought of everything," she said.
Marissa stayed with their neighbour until she got back on her feet. After a few weeks she got a job and moved into what she calls a cheap motel. The room didn't even have a fridge.
"I mean there we were, we lived in this beautiful big, multi-million-dollar house and then we're down to this one tiny room putting yoghurt in an ice bag," she said.
Meanwhile, Marissa later found out that her husband had bought property without telling her.
"What hurts the most is that he could hide so much from me. Look me in the face but meanwhile he's hiding everything behind my back."
It took 10 years for the divorce proceedings to finalise — and Marissa has spent a lot of time fighting for money she may never see.
Despite this, she is optimistic she will rebuild, even if it happens slowly.
"It was just brutal. The whole thing was just brutal, but we survived," she said.
"And I always say: if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger."
'I just felt worthless. It made me feel that I was nothing'
The financial abuse Amelia* suffered left her feeling isolated and worthless.
"For a long time, I didn't have a landline or contact with people who I had been in touch with," she said.
"But [I] found it difficult to face them anyway because their families are still intact."
She says she is emotionally stronger today because of what she has been through. But financially, it's tough.
Amelia's ex-husband took control of the finances a year after she had their son.
She had been unable to go back to work due to debilitating pain she suffered after he was born.
"I actually, probably a bit naively I think, handed the finances over to him, pretty much when I left work and from then on he gave me an allowance," she said.
"He was in control of the money. It was just kind of an agreement at the time that I thought was OK."
Then one day he came home and told her he thought they should go their separate ways.
She says he told her he wanted her to move out, that she wouldn't get any of the children and not enough money for a house.
It changed the way she saw herself.
"I felt I'd lost all worth, for ages, I just felt worthless. It just made me feel that I was nothing," she said.
Amelia still struggles with her self-worth
Amelia was able to put together enough money from the divorce settlement to buy a house.
She got custody of their daughter and her ex-husband got custody of their son.
But when she went into hospital for an operation and asked her ex-husband to look after their daughter for two weeks, he took it as an opportunity to gain custody.
Amelia got a letter saying that her ex-husband was assuming custody of their daughter because Amelia couldn't look after her and the child would be better off with her brother.
She did try to get her daughter back, but couldn't afford a lawyer and says she was deemed too wealthy to access legal aid.
She said she was naive, and a lack of support and chronic pain meant she felt powerless to fight.
"I honestly believe he went for custody because by this time he was on $200,000 a year and he saw it as his money, and he didn't want to pay me any maintenance," she said.
He got custody and stopped paying child support. It meant she could no longer afford to pay her mortgage.
She was forced to sell up quickly and find a rental place.
Nowadays, Amelia doesn't suffer as much from low self worth, but she still has struggles.
"I can't say that I feel like I've totally moved on," she said.
"I guess [I] do the best I can with what I've got."
She has just moved into a one-bedroom unit and hopes to stay on for longer than her one-year lease.
'He started to control how much I would work'
Rachel* was a single mother when she met her now ex-husband. It was nice to have someone who relieved the financial pressure.
"Money was tight for me. I was on my own with three children," she said.
Not long into the relationship, Rachel's partner started charging her $500 a week to live at his house.
She says when he found out that she was receiving $500 a week from her first husband, he made her hand it over to him.
"That was the first thing. He [was] taking the money that came to me. It [came] to me and [went] straight to him," she said.
Rachel also had a job, but her partner started keeping a check of that, too, wanting to control how much she worked.
She says she was even made to sell a lot of what she owned.
"I didn't have a fridge, didn't have a washing machine, didn't have an iron, didn't have a dryer, didn't have a television, didn't have a toaster, didn't have a kettle. Nothing," she said.
"I didn't realise it was to narrow my avenues."
She ended up begging for a joint bank account but was told it was only to be used in the event of his death.
Despite having two investment properties, Rachel says the rent she was getting was just enough to cover each mortgage.
So she got by doing odd jobs without her partner knowing and selling household items that weren't being used.
Rachel is now worried her house is at risk
They parted ways after eight years together, and initially she couldn't get a loan to buy a house or even rent a property because of her lack of income.
And that meant she needed to ask for help.
"I had to talk to this evil, threatening man and play along with him to get a rental," she said.
Rachel ended up having to make quick sales on both of her investment properties and lost money on them.
After that she got a full-time job and managed to buy something else, but now says that the new house may be difficult to keep, after borrowing money for court costs and other things.
"My house is absolutely at risk," she said.
"You don't understand that people are capable of this. It's unbelievable."
'I didn't even have my own car — it was very embarrassing'
Jessica* was a professional woman and self-proclaimed entrepreneur. She ran her own businesses and helped others in need.
But after her latest relationship, she is the one who has had to ask for help.
Jessica and her partner moved overseas to work on a project together.
As part of the project, they agreed that Jessica would be given the house they bought together rather than a wage and superannuation.
"This was the only home that I wanted, I was happy with that," she said.
But it turned out her partner had put the home in his name, and now she's fighting to get that changed.
Jessica didn't have access to a joint bank account and didn't have one of her own either.
She says her partner gave her cash and his credit card to buy what they needed, but sometimes he'd cut it off.
"There were times when he would just simply stop giving me any money."
She had some savings, but after using it for her children, it dwindled down to nothing.
"He'd put me in a position where I was really isolated … and trapped in a place I didn't know anyone else," she said.
"He started to say revolting things like 'no honey, no money' — who talks to a 51-year-old woman like that?"
Jessica ended up having to couch surf with her son
After seven years together, they separated. Since she hadn't been paid a wage for that long, Jessica needed support.
"It was very new to me. I've always been independent — and then to be trapped," she said.
"Even if I had my own belongings I would have been able to move on."
But she says he has kept everything, even things like photographs of her children and parents.
"I didn't even have my own car. It was very embarrassing, people couldn't believe it."
Jessica ended up couch surfing for five years with her son, their cat and dog, but thanks to housing and support services — like LAUNCH, Wombat Housing and Good Shephard — she was able to move on and secure a place to live.
"I was very lucky — if they hadn't agreed to the lease now, I don't know what on earth we'd be doing next week. I really don't," she said.
What to look out for and where to go
Experts say financial abuse can be just as damaging as physical violence, but those affected often don't receive the same support or sympathy.
The Department of Human Services provides support to people who are living with or affected by family violence, and staff can identify when someone has family and domestic violence concerns and offer appropriate support and referrals, including:
DHS also says its social workers offer confidential short-term counselling and support to help people work out their options, including assessing eligibility for payments and exemptions to some requirements.
If you are in an abusive relationship and would like to speak to someone, you can find help at the places listed below.
Where to get help:
- WIRE Women: http://www.wire.org.au/
- 1800 RESPECT: https://www.1800respect.org.au/
- Family Relationship Advice Line: https://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/talk-someone/advice-line
- Department of Human Services: https://www.humanservices.gov.au/individuals/subjects/family-and-domestic-violence
- National Debt Helpline: http://www.ndh.org.au/
- Financial Empowerment App: https://penda-app.com/
- Redfern Legal Centre: https://rlc.org.au/financial-abuse-legal-service
- Women's Legal Service Victoria: https://www.womenslegal.org.au/
- White Ribbon Australia: https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/understand-domestic-violence/types-of-abuse/financial-abuse/
- Good Shepherd Microfinance No Interest Loan Scheme: https://goodshepherdmicrofinance.org.au/services/no-interest-loan-scheme-nils/
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